a fleeting moment

Fastest thing

Four guys, one each from Harvard, Yale, MIT University and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job.

One common question was asked to all of them.

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE Guy: It is Light, nothing can travel faster than Light.

HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind.

MIT Guy: Its Blink, you can blink and it's hard to realize you blinked

SANTA SINGH: Its Loose Stomach

INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply) "WHY"?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over !!

O' Bolo Tararara!!

*******

When a woman lies

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.
The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked .
The seamstress replied, 'No.'



The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a
golden thimble
studded with rubies.

'Is this your thimble?' t he Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'



The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.


'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased w ith the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.



Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?'
'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.

'Yes,' cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!'
The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.


Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.



And so the Lord let her keep him.



The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.



Signed,

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
'DON'T !'
'Don't what'
Adam replied.
'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.'
God said.
'Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! '
' No Way!
'Yes way! '
'Do NOT eat the fruit! '
said God.
'Why? '

'Because I am your Father and I said so ! '

God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked !

'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? '
God asked.
'Uh huh,'
Adam replied.

'Then why did you? '
said the Father.

'I don't know,'
said Eve.
'She started it! '
Adam said.
'Did not! '
'Did too! '

'DID NOT
��Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

B UT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY !

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

�2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.

In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:


IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN'
AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!

Quick,
send this on to ten people
within the next five minutes. �

Nothing will happen if you don't,
but if you do,
ten people will be laughing

Microsoft Bus in China